UIHistories Project: A History of the University of Illinois by Kalev Leetaru
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Repository: UIHistories Project: Magazine - The Siren (1911 Selections) [PAGE 15]

Caption: Magazine - The Siren (1911 Selections)
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THE

SIREN

THE END OF THE PLAY

I sat enraptured at Camillc, my cheeks bedewed with tears; As one entranced I gazed and wept, wrought up 'twixt hopes and fears; And did I like the death scene? Ah, I cannot speak of that, Because a woman just in front was pinning on her hat! I watched a melodrama (it was mellow through and through) Until my very hair stood up, and still the horror grew; And heavens! Did the villain really cut the children's throats? I'll never know! For those in front put on their overcoats! I never saw poor Juliet die, or Hamlet breathe his last. Or heard the final comments of survivors in a cast; And ne'er expect to see B thing, just ere the curtain's fall, 'I ill Klein or Thomas writes a play that h. no end at all.

A JUNE-GRASS COLLEGE WIDOW

T

H E honor student : in his ton b; s i x t e e n , g a z i n g lovingly u p o n th<

framed credentials above his desk. Otitide the moonshine dripped down thru the languid limbs oi I.oxer's Lane. It was June. The south-farm breeze boreto his weary ears the gentle voice of Freddie Fusser, as he c >ed in glee-club tones to the fairest of the fair. The near-P. B. K. candidate clouded his tungsten and paid front-row attention. Freddie was munching the end oi a long blade oi juicy grass, and with thi new-fangled Cupid's dart made a stab at her cherry lips. She seized the opportunity and the tickly end oi the spear between her dainty teeth; then, true to the wiles oi the first mother of ours, dared him to race to the middle. I le did. and sque< d out his fair opponent at the finish. The real student tumbled onto the roof. The defeated drew back in all the indignation oi the sex "deadlier than the male."

"Now, sir." she snapped, "you may

beg my p a r d o n . " F r e d d i e , w h o h a d been t h e r e bcfon

in a low salaam strained Ins English

tweed and b u t u b b CO '*l admit it was p r e t t \ p . but. deare t Angelica, it's the best 1 could d w ith a m o u t h f u l oi g r a s s "

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