Repository: UIHistories Project: Sophograph - 1890 [PAGE 48]

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rKQumsR.—"Who wrote, "To be, or not to be, that is the question,'' and what docs it mean?" It was written by W.Shakespeare, who lived in England

near the close of the sixteenth century and achieved more than a local reputation as a poet. It means that the poet has experienced the vicissitudes of life and finds that it is not what it is cracked up to be. He has run the gauntlet of measles, croup and whooping cough only to find that chillblains, mumps and rheumatism lie in wait for him. He has escorted a tickle damsel to a picnic and seen her depart with hated rival, whose only charms were a new seersucker coat and a boat ticket. He knows that a man may be, learned and virtuous, yet his pancakes will be sour and his coffee muddy. His last play has been rejected and he is three weeks behind with his board, while his laundrvman iv>. "No monee.no washee." Under these circumstrnces the poet stands in gloomy meditation and casts a weather eye into futurity. He doubts whether the fun of existence pays for the trouble and utters the immortal lines, which have found so responsive an echo in the human heart that they have since been a favorite of school boys and amateur elocutionists. you think that a "Society to induce Farmers to wear collars and cuffs while at work," is needed ? Ans.—Indeed it is. Such a society composed of earnest young men would do much good and help to arest this great danger threatening our republic*

ALGERNON D E H O D O E . — D o

II. WISE.—I am a profe >r and I am moel troubled by students asking questions. How can 1 remedy this? Ans. It will, perhaps, be impossible to get the students to wholly cease this reprehensible habit. Much, howerer,

SOLON

A. 3. S.— We have thoroughly investigated the subject,

but cannot find that liver pads have ever been used successfull, in the treatment of mumps.

•PH0M0KK Di'DB.—Can you tell me who was the anther

can be done as follows: ( 1 ) Tell him you have not time to discuss the matter just now. He will forget all about it ( 2 ) Tell him the matter is beyond his comprehension at present, (3) Inform him that if he pays attention he will learn all about the topic without asking any question(4) Start in with an explanation of any kind using as many big words as you can and introduce a number of quotations from foreign languages, and you will soon have him so befogged that he will admit that he knows all about it. In the hands of a skillful man this is, perhaps the best plan of all. By a careful use of these rules you should be able to shut off nearly all questions, conceal your ignoran and at the same time cause yourself to be considered a man of prodigous learning. M R . XKWMAX P R E P . — I s it true as is reported that th chickens near the electric lights are dying from want of sleep because they don't know when to ^^ to roost? Ans. We fear that the sad fact is only too true, and if town councils persist in introducing the electric light, spring chickens will soon be a thing of the past. S T U D E N T . — W h e n a young lady requests the pie. of a young man's company to a leap year party must >he furnish a hack? 2. Would it be improper to ask t h e young lady to call again? Ans.—1. Hacks every time. '2. Certainly not.

of "Milton's Comus?" Ans.— We have said respectfully that we could not gi\ bi inesfl addr<

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